Breaking these Walls
by Smodaf
Summary: Bella Swan goes to college with her sister Alice Swan. But Edward Cullen, the college bad-boy makes things very difficult for her through his hot and cold attitude. It is then revealed that they used to be best friends but something dark happened with Edw
1. I broke my heart myself

"_Why do guys lie? I mean, the bad guys lie to get in your bed and the good guys lie to get in your heart." –Brooke Davis, One Tree Hill_

___ Chapter A

"Bella, I'm telling you; Edward Cullen is not the best choice for a boyfriend." Jessica said after she caught me gazing at Edward Cullen for the fiftieth time. With my sister. Flirting.

"Jess, I'm not planning a date!" I muttered, irritated. "I'm looking out for Alice."

"I must say your sister has a very revengy taste of revenge. Dating her ex-boyfriend's brother so her sorry-ass ex would come back running to her."

"At least Jasper had a respect for girls!" I said, agitated at Alice. I could not believe her stupid notion that Jasper would come back if she would flirt with her ex-boyfriend's brother. But honestly, I couldn't really see a point in talking to Edward Cullen.

Edward Cullen. The bad boy persona of college. Yep, changes girlfriends each week, doesn't drink and doesn't smoke, sleeps with girls, plays with hearts and breaks them, famous for sleeping with popular girls. And despite that, girls still want his body, his money, love to go to his place for one-night stands. I mean heck, he might as well sleep with the whole town. He used to be really quiet, back when we used to be friends. Really good, but that was two years ago when we used to be in high school.

On our first day of college, Edward had broken it off with me. Not that we'd been in any relationship but he just went away. I didn't know if our relationship had been platonic or not but he had been the closest person to me. When your whole life is dominated by an abusive father who remarries a bitch and your mother's divorce, sometimes all you have left are strangers. Rhoda and Charlie had Alice and she'd stuck with me ever since and it felt like I really did have a sister but what did I tell my sister what emotions I'd been keeping inside me( the only reason Alice is in college is because she skipped five grades; she's that intelligent but she makes sure to keep her popular persona). I'd needed an escape and Edward had filled that hole. We'd met when we were only eight. I really used to escape to his place and we used to play and joke around and I used to go home when Charlie was so drunk that he would be snoring, murmuring, "_Come back" Rhoda _slept so soundly she didn't even notice.

But then Edward came and just said a few words that got me in a depression of twenty months.

"Bella, it's over. I'm not your friend! Stop calling me and stop visiting! From now on it will be just you and just me, both of us on our separate ways. There's no 'us' or 'we' or 'ours', okay?"

Now I hate him. Because the Edward I know is dead. I had known the person he was but this new Edward was what he had become.

I almost jumped when the bell rang.

"Come on, honey. It's Biology." She said, sighing.

I collected my scattered thoughts and quickly grabbed my bag and keeping my chin high, headed towards class.

* * *

"Whoo, that was a very long period." Jessica yawned sleepily. "Ok, I have to meet Mike. See ya!"

"See ya."

I sighed as she along with everyone silently left. I fixed my hear and applied a cherry gloss before going out.

I was going to talk to Alice first thing but then right outside the class she was pushed against the wall by Jasper Hale.

I sighed with relief. They were back together.

But that was till she slapped him and said, "I'm dating your brother, Jasper! It's over!"

* * *

I was bored. There was no mistaking that this day was colorless as if I was living in black and white movie without any plot and just mindless character. It became darker and in more of a sepia tone when I witnessed Alice kissing Edward with Edward running his hands down her back. Of course Alice didn't know about how close Edward and I were. Yes, we are sisters but Rhoda always kept her home and sometimes when Alice asked me where I went, I just replied, "I was at Jessica's."

But Edward _knew _that Alice was my sister.

And how far I could go to protect her heart and her life.

* * *

"Hey!" I almost shouted angrily, glaring at Edward.

Ok, I admit, I pretty much stalked him the whole day and I never found a place to talk to him and tell him how much he was messing with things he shouldn't but either he had classes or he had a girl but right now he'd been slumped in a chair in a vacant classroom, looking exhausted. He was standing now. Neither of us spoke, both of us feeling something icy and cold in us.

"Bella." His voice was cold but there was a new gleam in his eyes, aside from the exhaustion and the pain, there was something else. But what was it?

"Edward." I nodded.

Another wave of silence but it wasn't awkward. It was just…cold and painful. So I decided to speak first. And for the first time in two years, I felt warmth in the center of my chest, not the bitterness I had felt whenever I looked at him. He seemed to feel that two because his eyes melted and his hand reached out to caress my cheek.

_Oh. _At his touch, I felt a blush rise in my cheek, something churn in my stomach and my breathing quickened. My heart raced in my chest, my pulse thudding in my veins. But aside from the brand-new feelings there was that old feeling of warmth and comfort and the feeling of hope; I leaned into his palm. His hand then left my cheek, leaving me cold again. I was surprised at the intense pain in my chest, the way it was so easy for him to break free but he proved me wrong again when he pulled me softly to his warm, broad chest and he wrapped his arms around my waist, his chin resting on top of my head. It felt like home.

"I missed you so much." He whispered, kissing the top of my head.

"I missed you too." I murmured back.

I had never allowed myself to think of how much I missed him. I always tried not to think of him so I had always hidden behind my hatred for him. But that hatred hadn't been hatred. It had been the pain turned to poison. A poison turning to medicine. A medicine to heal a broken-hearted nineteen year old girl's heart at losing a boy she had trusted, maybe even loved with all her heart. Maybe.

But why he had put me through that hell, I didn't really know but I kept quiet, knowing that this moment would end too so I decided to live it while it lasted.

BUT WHAT WAS HE DOING WITH ALICE?

That brought the bitterness back, the stupid pain and the stupid hatred. I pushed him away, feeling cold and icy again but he looked bemused and hurt. Seeing how this gesture had hurt him made want to be back in his arms again but this time I controlled my insane desire.

"The only reason I came here was to ask you about what you are doing with Alice. Edward she's really sensitive and I bet she's just here because she wants to make Jasper jealous and well Jazz is your brother so you can't do this to him! Okay? Look, Alice is young; she's only seventeen and we are almost twenty two now, okay? Just because, she, like, aced her classes and outsmarted everyone and she's now in college doesn't mean she's really good at picking guys!"

Edward laughed.

In that moment, he had never repulsed me as much as he did now. I crinkled my nose in disgust and slapped him across the cheek.

Okay, I didn't mean to leave a red mark but I knew I had to carry on.

"You guys, every single one of you is the same! All you ever do is lie but this time, I woun't ket you play with my sister's heart. Get lost!"

Those were the last scathing words I uttered before I left, slamming the door, holding back the tears.

It felt just like the first time he had ever left me.

**END OF CHAPTER 1**

_Sometimes we break our hearts ourselves and just blame it on people._


	2. I Forgot To Remember To Forget

**CHAPTER 2: I FORGOT TO REMEMBER TO FORGET**

_"__Bella, what's that scar?" Edward asked anxiously, pointing to new scar on my forehead.  
"Nothing." I answered numbly.  
"Bella, what happened?" He demanded.  
"Nothing, Edward."  
"Bella, come on, tell me."  
"Edward, nothing."  
He glared at me; concern, care, anger, exasperation and pain all mixed together to form the depths of those green eyes. And then it came to me that I had no reason to not tell it to Edward. Who else did I have except him? He was the only one. I leaned into his open arms, into his chest, letting silent tears stain his shirt, sniffing. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pressed his lips to my forehead, letting him console me. I still felt a bit dizzy and numb. I breathed in his scent, listened to his heartbeat, letting his steady mine. I sighed._

_"__What happened, Bella?" And when he spoke, his voice cracked too.  
"Edward, I don't wanna stay there anymore!" I sobbed a strange sounds broke out of my chest and I gasped for air. There was also that heavy pain in my chest that I wanted to end. It hurt so much that I thought that I was going to fall to my knees but Edward's strong arms kept me strong, kept me standing._

_"__What __**happened**__?" _

_"__Today, I saw Alice with some guy and well, that guy wa-wasn't s-s-some good guy so-so-so I went home and I kinda rebuked her and Rhoda came and-and-and sh-sh-she, oh, Edward!"_

_We stood for a few minutes in silence just like that, his presence calming me and keeping me together.  
"Okay, come on, I think it's gonna rain soon. We need to get out of here." He let go of me but held close to me._

_I cringed. "I don't want to go there. I don't wanna ever go there!" I screamed, close to hysteria again, sobbing and shaking and screeching all at once. In an instant, he'd pulled me into a close embrace._

_"__Ok, we're not going to go there, we're not going to go there!" He said desperately, looking for anything to say to calm my hysteria. "I promise, okay? You can stay with Rose at my place, okay?"_

_I nodded as he let me go and held on to my hand._

"No!" I shrieked, panting. "No!"  
I realized I was crying and gasping, tears streaming down my face. Where the hell had that memory propped? It was starting again; dreams of him.

_Darn him for messing with my emotions yesterday! _I thought as I wiped the tears away, making it a note to stay away from Edward as physically as mentally. No Edward would intrude my life from now on and no Edward would intrude Alice's life as well.

"Alice!" I said as I jumped out of my bed. I knew I would have to talk to Alice tonight but then I froze when I reached the handle of my door, sighing.

I was having an epiphany.

To be honest, I knew my problem with Alice and Edward was not that he'd break her heart; it was just my history with him. And Alice was famous for one-night stands and she never dated or never let anyone get to her (Excluding Jasper). And to just ruin it all for her… because of what I wanted; closure from Edward, would be one of the most selfish things I did.

Sighing, I sunk back in my bed, the heavy feeling in my chest almost painful.

So I called the only one person who did not make me feel linked to my past; my boyfriend Jacob Black. I felt a rush of guilt in my chest when I realized I hadn't called him or even thought of him the whole day. I had been too busy with my 'Edward problems'.

Not anymore.

I grabbed my iPhone and because I was too tired, I simply pressed the home button for two seconds and bringing it close to my mouth, whispered 'Call Jacob Black'. I quickly brought my phone close to my ear.

"Hello?" He said and I smiled, immediately warm and feeling safe. That was Jacob's quality; he carried an aura of happiness around him and even hearing his voice made people happy; I was already grinning. I was gripped with a sudden desire to see him.

"Hey, Jake." I whispered, chuckling.  
"Hey." He breathed. "Finally thought of me, huh?"  
"Sorry," I said guiltily.  
"It's okay, Bells. I was just kidding."  
"Yeah," I agreed. "I know."  
"So…?"  
"Jake…do you mind…if I come over? I miss you."

"Yeah, sure!" His voice brightened up immediately. "At the beach?"

"Great, I am on my way!"

Grinning to myself, I bounded out of my room, jumping up and down with excitement.

"Hey baby!" Jacob shouted as he picked me up and swung me around. I giggled.  
"Where's Billy?" I said.  
"Gone to Clearwaters'!"  
"Oh!"

His expression melted into something more serious as he leaned down and kissed me.

When Jacob kissed, me it was like a sense of warmth and comfort and safety ran through my veins. It wasn't frenzied or anything, it was just safe with me being the victim and he being the savior. He ran his tongue on my lower lip, making me moan as I opened my mouth and let our tongues meet. His hands tightened around my waist and suddenly he kissed me harder, more fiercely he ever had before and his hands were under my shirt.

_No. _Jacob was great but sex wasn't something I was ready for. I pushed him away, more rougher than I had intended to.

"Jacob, please." I pleaded. "Not now."  
I tried to not feel guilty when I saw pain rushing into his eyes but I stood frozen to the spot.

"I'm sorry. It's just that…I'm sorry."

I threw my arms around him. Jacob in pain because of me? Never.

"Jake, _I'm sorry." _I apologized. "It's just that I've been going through a lot and not now."

I let him go and turned to the ocean and watched the waves come and go.

"That's what you _always _say, Bella!" he said furiously. "But you never tell me why! You never tell me what's going on with you and why you look like you've been hurt so much. You've always denied heartbreak and whenever I tried to ask you something about that, you always wrapped your arms around yourself and looked so broken that I thought you needed space. But it's been six months, Bella! Look, I _need to_ know what's been happening or else…there's just no point of our relationship."

"Jacob…"I tried to say but no words came out.

"I think it's time we break up." He said.

"_Jacob."_ I whispered, my eyes filled with held-back tears.

"Wait, I'm not finished yet…" he said. "If you ever need a friend, I'm here, just for you."

I pushed the brakes and screeching, the car engine came to a halt. Who the damn hell was this damn person who couldn't care out of survival instinct to save his own life?! Jumping out of the blue at a car like that…!

Gritting my teeth, I got out of the car, glaring at the stranger.

Only as he turned around, I realized he wasn't a stranger. Reddish brown hair, piercing green eyes which depthless at the moment, perfect lips turned into an 'o' of shock, perfect straight nose, gorgeous face overall, thin but muscular all equaled to one person if I hadn't just about lost my eyesight along with my mind; Edward.

I could already get my knees getting weak. Not only from desire or anything but also because of how much I had suffered. I had just lost _Jacob _and what he'd done to me yesterday…what he'd done two years ago…and what was to happen now? Nothing, right?

"Be careful." I said simply before turning around to sit in my car.

"Bella, wait!"

I was half-way in the car when he'd said that so I twisted my torso just to see his face looking all pleading and pained.

"Can we be friends?" He asked. "Like before."

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I can't have you break me again, Edward! I can't let you close again! I'm scared if I let you in, I'll fall in love with you. I can't; you hurt me too bad. You've done nothing but hurt me._

But the other part was wildly saying;

_Yes, yes, yes, Edward. You don't know how much these two years have tortured me. I miss you so much. _I wanted to say so I pretty much surprised myself by saying, "No, Edward. Not now. Not ever" before driving away.

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